Me no like.

Sooo

Yeah.

About boys. They can be perty stupid sometimes. I like mine. But they can still be stupid. Muy stupid.

Anyway, I've been racking up things that gross me out, so here's a list!! Aren't you lucky?

1. Guys who use girl's bathrooms. When girls are in there.

2. People eating around me when I'm not eating. Some people are just really noisy eaters. Bleeegh.

3. Our carpet pre-vacuum. Eww.

4. A certain evil pastry person in a state of cottage cheese...glory.

End of list.

"assertive, unapologetic, demanding, intimidating…in control"

When you think of a "bitch", what do you think of? Is it positive or negative? A person or a dog? Me? This quote from Margaret Cho in Bitchfest defines a bitch in a positive light, and I'd have to say that I agree with her 100%. What's wrong with any of those things, and are they not accurate depictions of someone we might call a bitch? "Assertive, unapologetic, demanding, intimidating." It all trickles down into the larger concept of power and achieving/maintaining control. A bitch has power, whether it is self-imposed or it is given by way of birth, class, career, titles, etc. Think Malvolio, Twelfth Night: "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." It's true, isn't it, with both greatness and bitchiness?

So, why do we despise bitches? Why do we say "bitch" in such a nasty, malicious, (jealous?) tone of voice? Do we hate them because they are what we are not? Let's look at the qualities opposing that of the bitch: meek, apologetic, lacking confidence, mouse-like, downtrodden. The anti-bitch might seem virtuous and noble, resisting the desire to seize power, but there truly is no honor, no virtue, no glory or praise in being walked over. Perhaps the positive conception of the bitch is a highly feministic one, but it's true, if only you can get past the blinders ("Grr my boss is such a bitch, she gave me X, Y, Z to do and then plopped her fat bitchy ass down in that leather chair in the massive corner office and Facebooked all day.) and realize that we all want to achieve the qualities and the power of that bitch.

-.-

So, what provoked such random ramblings? HangPROUD, of course! At 12:00 a.m., HP updates articles with a piece entitled "Embracing the Bitch" (or some such title), which discusses the qualities of the bitch and how we ought to embrace such qualities and in doing so, our futures as women with power/in high powered positions. "In the Skin Your In" (that's the short headline), discussing the effects of media and various emaciated celebrities on young girls of today also will be featured.

xox.

Top Fives...

Hi hi. So, I'm sick, and I'm bored, so I'm making lists of random things, like my favorite smells. In no particular order.

So, My Top Five Favorite Smells:
1. Chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven.
2. Honeysuckle in the early morning
3. My mom's cooking, even if she's making something I don't like
4. Horses
5. My boy

My Top Five Least Liked People Of The Moment:
1. Patti Lupone. You can't understand her. And...and I just don't like her. Not that I know her or anything.
2. Well, if I can't get to two, I guess that's a good thing.

My Top Five Favorite Medicinals:
1. Midol
2. Aleve
3. Sudafed
4. Nasonex
5. Hm. Cough Syrup

My Top Five Favorite Groups of People:
1. Parking People, because they granted my appeals! Woot!
2. The HP crew <3
3. Cast of the OBC of Into the Woods
4. My roomies :)
5. My boys <3 :)

My Top Five Least Favorite Things To Do:
1. Blowing my nose when it's already red and puffy and owwie.
2. Washing other people's dishes
3. Cleaning up after Buddy when he's sick
4. Taking care of myself when I'm sick
5. Repeatedly telling people either: I'm okay! Really! or, "Yeah, I'm sick" (as I walk down the hall coughing with a tissue in hand and a red puffy owwie nose)

I'm alive!

Hello hello! I've finally moved back to school and it's been a crazy busy week! :whooo: My roomies are delightful, all two of them, though slightly crazy round the edges. Well, one is slightly more crazy than simply slightly crazy. It'll be like one massive sleepover for two semester. Aweeesome!

I wish you could see our room. It's beautiful. And colorful. And cozy. And full of wonderful lights. Maybe I'll post pictures. Maybe not. We'll see.

Classes start tomorrow--at 11:30 for me! Mwahahaha. I love my schedule. I'm a good scheduler. My schedule last semester kicked bum as well. This one, though. No class before 11, ever. Finished by 4:00 at the latest on Monday and Wednesday. Hahaha. Poor darling who have to wake up for an 8:15 (or, worse, at 7:50) (ouch). Like my boy. Ha. Poor dear.

S'all for this particular moment in time. <3

I <3 my interns.


Anyway, off to Richmond tomorrow around 10:30 a.m. ish. Very very very excited, although I'm not sure what I'll be doing all day. Maybe I'll go wander around Stony Point. Have some ice cream. Pet the puppies. Actually, it's supposed to be hot, so...might want to scratch that.

Well. I've not got much more to say. V. grammatical today, I know.
Love to you all, whoever you all may be. Shall soon be saying ya'll. Don't be surprised.

I think I discovered why I can't sleep.

Why can't I, you ask? I asked myself the same question, morning after morning, and I think I've arrived at my answer: I am in full freak out mode. Not like spaz-mode or anything, just worry about everything that I possibly can even though things will be fine mode. Yeah, that last one. What do I worry about?

1. Starting September 1st, I will be a paid editor for hangPROUD which ROCKS. It also kinda sucks, too, because HP isn't withholding taxes from my paycheck, which means I have to do it. Myself. Me. (I still don't have the whole credit card theory down yet. I need a math class. Badly.)

2. At 3:00 one morning, I decided to make a mental list of everything I need to buy for school. I got to Post Its, and then, all I could think about for another hour was Post Its. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot...

3. School schedule. I have a kick bum schedule. It rocks, really. But I keep having dreams (just like I have before each semester) that somehow, I will forget a really important class. And always, in these dreams, the campus is totally not the Richmond campus. It always starts off like Richmond (well, it has the big hill that leads up to LoRo), and then it gets crazy weird. Last night, the Deanery turned into a MASSIVE gym. And about a week ago, their was this weird subway system that you had to use to get from one building to the other. I woke up fairly confident that I could use the subway in NY, for some reason, but was petrified that I had missed something important.

4. After dabbling with Ed2010 and reading all of the posts by other neurotic wannabe editors, I am freaking out (again) about: Getting a job as an editor, whether I want to be in print or online or in publishing, wondering if I'm any good at what I do, if I'll be able to support myself, possibly not wanting to live in NYC, whether I should suck it up and major in journalism...it goes on and on.

5. Theatre. I don't think I want to do it (the major) anymore. And I don't want to take PS2, really, but I feel obligated. Which sucks. And I really want to be involved, but at the same time, thanks to all of the ED2010 people, I feel like I need to spend more time working on my "craft" and less time "playing" with my theatre people but I LOVE my theatre people. But I think I would die if I tried to do both.

6. And finally, the future. Career aside, because I really am confident that I'll be able to do what I want to do, whatever that is...what about my family? I want to get married soon after college, I want to be a young mother, and I really want to be there for my kids. I don't want to be stuck in a job that I may love but might force me to be constantly at work. And then there's other things that I really ought not to worry about that extend this whole dilemma, but of course, I worry about them anyway.

So, in short, all of these reasons are why I cannot sleep.

Craigslist Chuckles

So, I'm bored as heck waiting for it to be midnight so I can update HP and go to bed. What do I do to pass the time? Look at Craigslist, of course, as though I don't have enough things to do... The plus side of this, however, is the amusing tidbits I dig up. Check it out:

On the NY Writing/Editing Jobs Board:
** Hi:

I am looking for a person to help me find a perfect woman. Do you want to earn $15 an hour searching Match.com for me for a partner? I would like you to perform a targeted Match.com search under my ID, send an introduction note and reply to the responses. I will give you my search criteria and you will do the work for me. I am not sure how many hours it will take you, but I will guarantee a minimum of 25 hours, once I see your work. It could go on much longer if I like the results. I am able to see your progress and will work with you as we go on. I am able to spend 3 hours a night and do not make a dent in the woman in our area. Let me know if you are up to it. Send me an example of a sample message, so I can get an idea of your style. It doesn’t have to be about me. You could tell me if you have had any experience doing something like this. I am a good guy, who just doesn’t have the time to do the searching. I will pay you via PayPal, so you can be sure to get paid. We can set-up a payment plan that suits you. If you require a cash payment, I work in Manhattan and live in Queens, so we could meet this way as well. My e-mail is ***@*****.com.

Thanks and speak soon. ***

**Names changes to protect the very guilty.

"I am a good guy who just doesn't have the time to do the searching"? Oh yeah, that will really attract the perfect woman, right? Great attitude. Why not get a mail order bride, eh?

And, as a side note, I HATE it when people talk about "growing a business". Hate it. I understand why they do it, but I think it's stupid. A business is not a flower. It's a business. Some businesses are similar to weeds, yes, but still. Stop growing businesses. Please.

Oh, oh. Here's another. Not as amusing as the first though. You be warned:

**Blog based in NYC seeking *funny* pets articles. We have a few ideas, and we'll also consider your pitches. These will almost NEVER be fiction, but rather reporting on real events and real people/pets from a humorous angle, sort of like The Onion meets New York Dog magazine.***

Um. The Onion is fiction. Hysterical stuff though. I wrote a crap essay on my AP Lang test based on an Onion article. Total crap. Got a 5 though.

That's it for now!

I think I scare people.

Seriously, I do. Like the sales associates at Bath and Body Works. I was in there today, buying some of my favorite minty lip gloss (C.O. Bigelow Spearmint Mentha Lip Shine is AWESOME, and tasty), and you know how they kind of attack you in there? Well, let me jog your memory. They've got sales girls stationed at strategic points throughout the store, from the door all the way to the back cash wrap. And each and every one bombards you: "Hello, how are you, welcome to Bath and Body Works, are you finding everything okay? My name is ____, let me know if I can help you. Oh, and we've got this new line, _____, you've got to try it! Would you like a free sample?" On and on and on.

Now, this is good, if over-eager, salesmanship, so whatever. They're doing their job. And most people probably just turn away after a nervous little smile and maybe a "thanks" or, "fine, and you?" That's what they're used to. How do I know? I've been there. Well, not there exactly, but I've worked retail. And it made me really mad when people would either act all mousy, or ignore you. So when I go shopping, I'm purposely friendly. Friendly to the point of bubbling over. And I'm loud, too. They can't ignore me or pretend like they didn't hear me asking how they're doing. And some try to, which is really frustrating.

The most enjoyable thing about my overzealous shopping experiences, however, are the looks and responses I get. Some people are really friendly back, some take a moment or so to realize that they're talking to a real live interested person, but most are scared to death. Shocked, terrified, it's all the same. I mean, who expect the itty bitty, 5'2'' brunette to be the friendly customer? Not many, apparently.

S'all good fun, though, making people run away and making other people smile. You should try it some time.

Do you ever just want to scream?

With frustration, that is? Well I do, and the urge has particularly seized me and held me hostage from all of the work that I really should be doing. So, I've decided to vent. This is the grand, ever evolving list of my pet peeves. Please note that it is not all-inclusive and even if something isn't on the list, it may still bother me. Beware! :mwahahaha:

1. Cracking bones. I had one boyfriend who would hug me and that crack every bone in his back. Ewwww. We weren't together for very long, needless to say. Fingers? Fine. Knuckles? Okay. Really need to pop something back into place or to relieve pressure? Whatever. But don't do it on purpose and don't do it like a bone-cracking maniac! And don't do it just to piss me off, all of you people sitting there reading this with an evil, mischievous grin on your faces.

2. Chewing. Okay, I know this sounds stupid, but I hate listening to people eat, especially when I'm not eating anything myself. :shiver:

3. Not responding to emails. Acknowledge work that needs to be done, people! Even if it's just, "Okay, thanks for the advice, I'll do my best." I don't need a novel, I just want something that will tell me that A. you received my email in the first place and B. you understand what I want you to do and C. you are willing to do it.

4. Waiting for people to come online when they promised they would, and who then don't show. Errrg.

---We interrupt this message for another random news bulletin---

Oh oh ohhh! Whoopie Goldberg is the new moderator on The View! Woot!

---A notice from the writer: listing my pet peeves has further enraged me to the point at which I can no longer write coherently.---



Just kidding. I think I was ADD in a former life, and that spirit comes back to toy with my workload.

And in other news...

My HP interns rock my socks! Everyone turned in everything BEFORE the DEADLINE! I am so psyched, so proud.

p.s. Do you want to know something funny? Barbara Walters on "The View", saying "shaking your booty" is really, really funny. Especially when she says it to John Travolta, who, as I'm sure the entire world knows, cross dresses in the new movie, "Hairspray", as Edna Turnblad. I'm not sure if I'm going to see the movie because I harbor ill will to the Broadway show for a certain reason, but we shall see.

p.p.s. I also have a hankering for some "Anne of Green Gables".

This little piggy went to market...

I found the best toe nail polish color ever. It's this perfect pink, called "Party Pink", and it's made by Piggy Polish ("goes on toes!"). The color gets deeper and brighter as you layer on the coats, so you have a lot of control over the intensity of the color. Anyway, I painted my toes this color for my vacation to Charleston and the color was great! I love it. The only problem was that after I went to the beach and got tossed around by the waves, I guess I scraped my toes against the sand and they started to peel :( So, I'm repainting them and putting a top coat of clear polish on with hope that it will stay nice for a week or two.

Okay, so maybe it's a silly post, but this is the only color that I've ever repainted my toes with as soon as the other paint job went icky! It's a milestone! I should stock up...

Three cheers for painted pink piggies! Yess!

And the boy should like the title of this post.

Whether we be old and gray or young with scabby knees...

I think that's how it goes, anyway. Do you remember where its from?

Anyway, J.K. Rowling was on the Today show this morning, and here's an article I found on the NBC website: "Finished 'Potter'? Rowling Tells What Happens Next".

I hope the link works, for your sake :P Good stuff, my friends!

Edit: Here's another one from NBC

HP Sneak Preview

Oh, you lucky dogs, you. You cool cats. You beautiful birds. You elegant elephants. You get a hangPROUD preview!

The site (see the link bar on the side!) will update at midnight tonight, and here's what you'll see, come 12:01 a.m.

One of our new interns, Bliss, makes her HP debut with "In the Wake of Harry Potter, Defend Yourself From the Spoiler Brat," a delightful piece that discusses the two different types of "spoilers"--the chatty spoiler and the spoiler brat (SB for short, a coincidentally short leap to SOB, but that's another story).

One of my own articles will be going live in the wee hours of the morning as well, entitled "Juices Make Five-A-Day a Reality," which is all about the benefits that the hip health trend known as juicing can provide.

And there you have it, chaps, the HP preview! Don't you feel privileged? Don't forget to check out our archives as well as our weekly features, articles written by contributing women and our featured PROUDgirl!

hangPROUD, y'all!

Oh, I hate to sound grumpy/But my nerves are so jumpy

Hello hello!

Well, since Kathleen and Carla's [independent] revelations, I have come to the realization that if you google hangPROUD, my blog comes up, which is at the same time both gratifying and slightly creepy. Anyway, on the off chance that my HP interns or bosses (who I love!) or any of the HP-interested googlers out there stumble across my humble blog, I thought I might throw a bit more HP-related information on here. Most of which should be taken as tongue-in-cheek and with a small pinch of salt, if you will. Sugar works too. And I can be bribed with chocolate.

[side note...there are three HPs in my life. 1. hangPROUD (obviously), 2. Harry Potter (no duh), 3. Hewlett Packard, makers of my fine though slightly malfunctioning computer. /side note]

Here's your HP tidbit of the day:
Ten (10) Things HP Interns (and the world at large) Can Do to Make Me a Happy Editor (and person) [otherwise known at 10THPICDtMMaHE, or The List]
1. Times New Roman, black, size 12 font, single spaced, one space after the period, no justification, a full space between paragraphs with no indentation. Please and thank you.
2. Your full or published name in the word document, preferably at the very top of the page, with...
3. A headline!
4. No more articles about sports until I say so. Say, like...January. Unless you want to write about skiing, gymnastics, ice skating, horseback riding, swimming....largely because I like them...or maybe some little know sport, so long as it's interesting and informative. Like, say, Rugby. I don't know much about Rugby. Or...croquet. Talk to me about the athleticism of croquet. It's rather satisfying to smack a croquet ball, did you know?
5. All articles in separate MS word documents, pretty please.
6. If you aren't sending me articles for a week, let me know. Before the deadline. Please.
7. When in doubt, write more, not less! I can always get out the pruning shears. I think maybe I'll up the minimum number of words...
8. Please spell my name right. It's Britt or Brittany. You can get away with Brit too. My name isn't Britney, though. :shiver: That's the name on my dentist's files though. I'm not very pleased with them.
9. Write me a quiz, poppets! I like quizzes...no more about "what kind of friend are you" and the like, though. We've got a few.
10. Don't change your mind in the middle of an article. It's not a good idea.


I bet every one's just jumping at the bit, now! Well...what are you waiting for? As Meryl Streep said in The Devil Wears Prada: "Go..."

That is all.

An update for anyone who cares

Hey guys. So, I'm in Charleston at our wonderful house right on the beach and it's supposed to get into the 90s today and feel like it's about 100 degrees, and our AC is dead. Wait, wait. Even worse, the AC people have been out and they insist that nothing is wrong. The company we rented the house from is...well, idk what is going on, but I don't think they're returning our calls as of yesterday afternoon. Mom is pissed, Dad's ready to march into the office and start yelling at someone. And I got six hours of sleep.

So, I don't know exactly what is going on, but we aren't staying here. IDK if we're going to a hotel or heading back to the airport to get on standby and go home. I don't know. But regardless, I probably won't have internet access, therefore I won't be talking to anyone until, worst case scenario, Saturday night.

Ick. I'm starving and drenched in sweat and not a happy camper. I love you all, though, and wish you a very merry week. Enjoy Harry Potter!

Ewww sweat dripping down my back.

I see the moon and the moon sees me

I'm on the edge of dreamland, but I had to say:

A. Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix is out and I am PSYCHED. Like, beyond psyched, man. Like wow.

B. Overheard in NY is a fantasticly hysterical site. I love it. You might too. So check it out.

C. It's 1:46 and I have to be out of the house by 11 but up by...10 at the latest. I need to go to sleep.

Goodnight!