Craigslist Chuckles

So, I'm bored as heck waiting for it to be midnight so I can update HP and go to bed. What do I do to pass the time? Look at Craigslist, of course, as though I don't have enough things to do... The plus side of this, however, is the amusing tidbits I dig up. Check it out:

On the NY Writing/Editing Jobs Board:
** Hi:

I am looking for a person to help me find a perfect woman. Do you want to earn $15 an hour searching Match.com for me for a partner? I would like you to perform a targeted Match.com search under my ID, send an introduction note and reply to the responses. I will give you my search criteria and you will do the work for me. I am not sure how many hours it will take you, but I will guarantee a minimum of 25 hours, once I see your work. It could go on much longer if I like the results. I am able to see your progress and will work with you as we go on. I am able to spend 3 hours a night and do not make a dent in the woman in our area. Let me know if you are up to it. Send me an example of a sample message, so I can get an idea of your style. It doesn’t have to be about me. You could tell me if you have had any experience doing something like this. I am a good guy, who just doesn’t have the time to do the searching. I will pay you via PayPal, so you can be sure to get paid. We can set-up a payment plan that suits you. If you require a cash payment, I work in Manhattan and live in Queens, so we could meet this way as well. My e-mail is ***@*****.com.

Thanks and speak soon. ***

**Names changes to protect the very guilty.

"I am a good guy who just doesn't have the time to do the searching"? Oh yeah, that will really attract the perfect woman, right? Great attitude. Why not get a mail order bride, eh?

And, as a side note, I HATE it when people talk about "growing a business". Hate it. I understand why they do it, but I think it's stupid. A business is not a flower. It's a business. Some businesses are similar to weeds, yes, but still. Stop growing businesses. Please.

Oh, oh. Here's another. Not as amusing as the first though. You be warned:

**Blog based in NYC seeking *funny* pets articles. We have a few ideas, and we'll also consider your pitches. These will almost NEVER be fiction, but rather reporting on real events and real people/pets from a humorous angle, sort of like The Onion meets New York Dog magazine.***

Um. The Onion is fiction. Hysterical stuff though. I wrote a crap essay on my AP Lang test based on an Onion article. Total crap. Got a 5 though.

That's it for now!